About CFO Secrets

Well hello there! Mr. or Ms. Startup-ist!

First, to answer your question: what the H*** is up with the goofy pictures?  And I reply to you: those are not goofy pictures, my friends!  Those are works of  ART! Created by ME! In EXCEL!

Well, okay, they are goofy. But it’s that or reams of standard stock photos of  people working on a computer, people smiling while in a meeting (seriously?!), people engaging in extreme sports, piles of gold coins or other money themes or “inspirational” landscapes or nature scenes. Dreadful!  Would that not be boring? I mean, I think it’s boring and I’m a dual-certified accountant, so my standard for “boring” is pretty high. I’m still enthralled by boring stuff long after you non-accountant types have fallen asleep.  Excel Art is far more entertaining. And creating art in excel is delightful.  You should try it!

But enough of that.  Now, some questions for you….

Does your bookkeeper visibly wince when they receive your hopelessly disorganized paperwork each month? Does your budget somehow never match your actual? Do you know where (or what) your cap table is? How about your intellectual property? Do you find yourself desperately nodding and trying to appear knowledgeable when you speak to your lawyer or a potential investor and they start popping out lots of random terms that, apparently, you are supposed to know? Are you looking forward to eventually doing an investment round, but dreading the due diligence process that you will have to go through first?  Or, even worse, did you go through that process, come out of it looking like a flaming train wreck, and have the investors back out?

I am here to help.  Together, we are going to clean up your act.

No, no, don’t run away.  If you are smart enough to come up with an app or some medical treatment or, quite frankly, run a small business of pretty much any description, believe me, you are absolutely smart enough to keep the finance and admin side organized.

You see, I have a confession to make.

Accounting is not rocket science. Neither are operations or administration.

It may seem like it because there are numbers and paperwork involved, as well as accountants and lawyers and all of these tend to frighten people.  In particular the accountants and the lawyers. And we accountants (and the lawyers) have a vested interest in making it seem like rocket science, because, hey, more money.

(If my boss is reading this, it is rocket science.  I’m just trying to soothe my jittery readers so they’ll go on to the first article.  Really, I’m worth lots of money. I deserve a raise. )

But–back to you now–seriously, it’s not.  Yes, there are some weird bits but most of what we do?

Arithmetic.

Common Sense.

Logic.

Order and Organization.

That is it.  And you can handle that, right? Hell, you have your own business.  THAT, is difficult. This? Mere paperwork.

So as you read this blog, remember that.  Arithmetic, common sense, logic, order and organization.

You’ve got this.

Now let’s get going.

Enjoy the artwork.  🙂